Snarky Jesus Questions

Regetably, Fistful of Farthings and the video have since disappeared. But the questions remain.

I found this on Matthew Crowe's Fistful of Farthings blog sometime back. Actually, I think it would make an excellent sermon (or perhaps sermon series) if this were played as the "text" and then thoughtful, non-boilerplate answers were given. When you blow away the snarky prodigy attitude, there are some decent questions here that deserve to be answered. Most are just due to fuzzy theology that confuses a lot of people, not just kids with a team of writers behind them. Why did God kill Jesus if he was so precious to him, anyway?

Below the video I've listed the little twerp's 11 questions. How would you respond to them? I'll probably do another post this weekend where I make my own stab at it.




The 11 Snarky Questions
1. Why didn't baby Jesus zap King Herod?

2. Did baby Jesus hold off zapping Herod because he knew when Herod got to hell he could roast him till his eyeballs exploded?

3.Why does God only give the Sun 15000000000000000 (??) years before it dies?

4. Why didn't Jesus shapeshift into a Roman so he could kill them all without anyone suspecting?

5. If somebody took a rocket to Heaven and punched Jesus in the face would Jesus deck him? Or would he say, "Oooo, I forgive you?"

6. Wasn't it a bit selfish of humankind for Jesus to die for us?

7. Couldn't Jesus have done it a different way, such as writing a letter to everyone warning them to be good or something very bad would happen to them?

8. When he was crucified why didn't Jesus ask God to send a meteorite to kill all the soldiers?

9. If Jesus was the most precious thing to God, why did he kill him?

10. Would Jesus forgive somebody that stole his mobile phone?

11. What would Jesus do if a Polar Bear attacked him? (NOTE: "Zapping it" is the wrong answer because Polar Bears are virtually extinct. There are only 5 left.)